Before I describe the disaster that took place today, I’d like to first discuss my progress with yoga. I’ve begun to once again regularly attend a power yoga session at least once and sometimes twice a week. I last attended this past Tuesday.

1. I am the most “bendy” (my yoga instructor, Heather’s, term) that I’ve ever been. Not only can I bend and place the palms of my hands under my feet, I can also bring my chest to my quads.
2. For the very first time ever I was able to place my forehead on the ground while in pigeon pose.
3. For the very first time ever I was able to stack my legs.
4. I can now easily transition from crow pose to plank position.

I think I may be just a wee bit egocentric. Every time Heather says “pause here” I hear “Paul’s here.”

As you may have gathered, I rested yesterday. I’m always tight after a day of rest, so I arrived at 5:45 this morning to allow time to stretch and roll – and to tape my left ankle.

Josh led today’s session, and he began with 30-second warm up drills. Thanks for including burpees, Josh! You’re a gentleman and a scholar.

Josh next demonstrated a couple of different ways to climb a rope. He’s tall and he has good technique, so he made it look far easier than it is. I gave it a try, and climbed to the orange mark on the rope – and what I thought was the 20’ mark. I descended and Josh said, “That’s the 15’ mark. You’ll need to climb to the ceiling for 20’.” I replied, “Then I think I’m scaling to 15’.” I have no fear of heights. Hell, I don’t even have a fear of falling. I just knew that 20’ was going to be a long distance to climb.

Josh suggested that we jump as high as we could, grab the rope, and position our feet. Uhm, yeah, so I can like jump maybe a foot and a half. Great! That means I only have to climb 18.5’!

To the best of my recollection, I’ve only climbed a rope as part of a metcon on 2 occasions, once at CF908 and once at CFKoP. I didn’t particularly enjoy doing so on either occasion. I end up battered, bruised, and humiliated. Today was no exception!

AFAP
30 clean & jerks (155/105)
20’ rope climb ascent after 5 C&Js

Thus, 6 rounds of 5 C&Js and a rope climb. I warmed up C&Js and settled on 115#; about 80% of my bodyweight, 75% of 1RM power clean, and 70% of 1RM C&J. Heavy enough for you, bitches?

The first round of C&Js went reasonably well, and I focused on dropping under the bar, pushing my hips back, dipping under the bar for the jerk, and locking my elbows at the top of the jerk. The first rope climb, well, was a challenge. I attempted to stand up straight (while still dressed fabulously), but my Inov8s kept slipping. I quickly determined that I might actually be losing ground if I stood up, so I had to use my arm – and particularly my forearms – much more than I wanted to, and had to make far too many pulls to make it to the top.

Yes, to the top. Once I made it to the 15’ mark I challenged myself to climb to the 20’ mark. I thought, “Hell, I can do this at least once.” I climbed 20’ for remaining rounds.

The second round of C&Js and rope climb went okay. Just okay. Nothing more, nothing less. C&Js were starting to feel pretty damn heavy.

As Josh was watching (of course), I missed the 3rd clean during the 3rd round. Josh said, “You’re a f@cking loser, Paul! I can’t believe we’re letting you join the box! You shouldn’t be allowed coach this sh!t. Grow a pair!” Okay, that’s what I heard. What Josh actually said was “Drop under the bar.”

The 3rd rope climb was painful in many, many ways. Even though I had taped my ankle, I could tell that the rope was burning my flesh. With Josh encouraging me to stand up, I knew it was to my detriment to do so. After sliding down the rope, I took a moment to regroup. I decided to call it a day. I don’t mind an occasional DNF.

I don’t know what compelled me to do so, but I stepped up to the bar. I then became obsessed with the ring finger on my left hand, as it had gone cold and numb. I muddled through another 5 C&Js and yet another rope climb.

Four rounds done, two loooooooong rounds to go.

The 5th round was grueling. I missed the 25th rep, i.e., the last rep of this round, in that I didn’t come anywhere close to locking the bar overhead. Without resting nearly long enough, I attempted the C&J again, and while I came closer to locking it out overhead I still wasn’t able to do so. Josh said, “The jerk isn’t your friend.” Does this mean that you’re not my friend, Josh? You know, because you’re a jerk? Hugs! I was resting, bent over with hands on my quads. I had barely enough energy to raise my right arm and extend my middle finger. We both chuckled. I finally was able to complete the C&J.

I climbed that damn rope a 5th time.

Five more C&Js, each done one at a time with a rest between reps. I was dreading climbing that damn rope.

I was oblivious to ever other person, but evidently Eric and I were neck and neck. Josh said, “It’s a race, Paul!” I replied, “He’s got this one. I’m not even going to try.” And I didn’t. I struggled to the top, estimating that it took me 83 pulls (that might be a slight exaggeration) to reach the 20’ mark. My time was 14:25, and I was the last of the 6amers to finish.

I dropped to my hands and knees, and quickly realized that my forearms were so tired that I couldn’t even remain in tabletop position. I moved to child’s pose. Even that hurt, so I rolled onto my back. “Josh,” I said, “I suck at rope climbs. My forearms are weak. I either need to climb the rope or masturbate much more frequently.”

Josh led the group through some shoulder stretches, but I was too spent to join them. My forearms were swollen, and my hands hurt. I couldn’t even remove the clips from the bar, and had to ask for assistance.

I like workouts that kick my ass. This. Kicked. My. Ass.

As I didn’t arrive at CFD until after 9:30, I didn’t work out until noon. As always, I very much enjoyed coaching the 10 and 11am sessions, and here are some of the reasons why:

1. Amy Scott sometimes shows her pretty little face. This alone keeps me at CFD.
2. There is more than enough space and equipment for all athletes. Given that there are usually larger crowds on Sundays, this is much needed and appreciated.
3. As I’m the only coach on Sundays I generally have free reign. Thus, if I need to slightly modify the workouts, e.g., time limits, fewer reps, etc., I can do so for both sessions. I always let Dave know, and he always seems to understand.
4. Perhaps most importantly, CFD athletes are genuinely appreciative of my coaching. Not a Sunday goes by that someone doesn’t compliment me. Yes, I know I already have a big ego, but I still sincerely appreciate occasional praise.  Today, Gail, who I had only coached this past Thursday (along with 26 other people) and today, told me that I was a very good coach. Beth, who I coached for the very first time today, sent me a very nice message. And Erica, who I had coached as part of a Living Social event, complimented me – and asked if I could coach additional days at CFD. Ha!

Strength
Front Squats @ 85% of 1RM
3-3-3-3-3

As I required of athletes when I coached, I did reps on the minute. I based percentage on 205, so I lifted 175#. The weight did feel heavy but manageable. I recorded the lifts and reviewed after completing all sets. I was pleased that I was able to lead with elbows, knees, and hips, and to avoid raising my ass before lifting. As is to be expected, my hips were below parallel at the bottom of each and every squat.

Conditioning
21-15-9 dead-lifts @ 1½ bodyweight
40-30-20 double unders
21-15-9 burpees

I lifted 220# for dead-lifts, and completed the first round in reps of 11 & 10, the second round in reps of 5, and the last round in reps of 6 & 3. I glanced at the clock after completing the first round, and realized I had done 21 dead-lifts in less than a minute.

Double unders were a mess. I didn’t have my speed rope with me, so I used one of the trial Rx jumps ropes that Dave has. Big mistake, as the rope was far too heavy. I was only able to string together 15 at the most and often did just a single freaking double under. Dammit.

I love burpees, I truly do. I completed all rounds unbroken.

My time was a disappointing 9:22. Damn jump rope.

Dear Michael Kelley,

Hello! I promise that I will make every attempt to see you this coming Saturday.

Your friend,
Paul 

As I’m used to working out at 6am most mornings, waiting until 10:30am to do so was a workout in and of itself. I’m reading “Team of Rivals: the Political Genius of Lincoln”, so that helped to pass the time.

We saw our good friend Kelly’s car as we pulled into the CrossFit Coastal parking lot, and we were warmly met by Kelly and her daughter, Ameron.

I warmed up a little on my own, and then Zeke announced that we had 20 minutes to establish 1RM snatch or clean & jerk or, if we were doing “Outlaw”, 20 minutes to establish both snatch and clean & jerk 1RMs. Jeff was working with a novice, and I eventually ended up coaching him through the clean & jerk. I clean & jerked my bodyweight and called it a day.

I was expecting a team workout, and was looking forward to doing so with Jeff, Kelly, and Ameron. We instead completed the following.

As fast as possible
100m walking lunges holding 45# plate overhead
90-sec plank hold
80 double unders
70 Air squats
60 Abmat sit-ups
50 box jumps, 24”
40 pushups
30 pull-ups
20 burpees
10 handstand pushups

The standard movements were not discussed. I had barely set up my stations when the time began.

I briefly rested after lunging 50m and 75m. As we were walking outside on the pavement, I did not touch my back knee to the ground.

I mistakenly thought we were to do 90 double unders after lunges, and began to do so. I struggled at first because I wasn’t using my own rope, but then managed to string together as many as 40 unbroken. As others entered the box and began plank hold, I realized my mistake. I finished double unders and then held plank for 90 seconds.

I broke air squats into sets of 25, 15, 10, 10, & 10. I knew box jumps were coming up. I completed sit-ups unbroken.

I just did many, many box jumps yesterday, so I took it easy, doing in sets of 20, 20, & 10. Pushups went well, and I completed in reps of 10, 10, 10, 5, & 5.

I completed as many as 15 and as few as 2 reps for pull-ups. The bar is so high that I had to stand on a 24” box to reach the bar, and I think I may have inadvertently used a box that someone was going to use for jumps. Sorry!

Burpees are always fun, and I did in 2 sets of 10 reps.

My shoulders were aching by this time, and I was only able to do the first 2 reps of HSPUs unbroken, and the remaining in single reps.

My total time was 19:09.

I very much enjoyed seeing Kelly and Ameron! As Jeff and I will be spending much time in Wilmington in the future, we’re going to give CrossFit Wilmington a try as well.

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I checked into CFZ on Facebook and took a picture of the cubbies. I did this for one of two possible reasons: To show how many CFZers now have weightlifting shoes or to show that I had cleaned out my cubbie. You decide which reason.

I made sure not to overindulge yesterday. I didn’t gain an ounce. Michael Kelley informed me that he gained 9.4 lbs. I let him know that I wasn’t the least bit surprised.

I may or may not have informed Michael Kelley that I was going to work out early this morning, and he let me know that Claire would be joining me. As I didn’t want Claire to have to work out by herself, I arrived at CFZ at 5:40am. Unfortunately, Claire was unable to attend, and I had the box to myself.

Today was a day when I wouldn’t have minded someone joining. I know, right?

My shoulders are incredibly sore, so I spent much time warming up. I very much wanted to do “Klepto”, but I didn’t want to do squat cleans.

4 rounds for time
27 box jumps, 24”
20 bar-touching burpees
11 front squats @ 80% bodyweight, 115#

Having warmed up front squats, I knew it would be unrealistic – and possibly risk injury – to do unbroken at a heavier weight. My goal was to do all 4 rounds of box jumps and bar-touching burpees unbroken. I recorded the entire workout and shouted times (and an occasional obscenity).

I missed the 24th box jump and missed touching the bar on the 17th burpee of the 1st round. I also found myself pausing before jumping to touch the bar. I completed the 1st round in 3:40.

The 2nd and 3rd rounds went much more smoothly for both box jumps and burpees. After extending my hips, I quickly rebounded off of the floor for box jumps. I did, however, miss the 8th box jump of the 2nd round. I also jumped at the top of the burpee and quickly touched the bar.

I completed front squats in reps of 6 & 5 for the first 3 rounds. Having reviewed the recording, I squatted below parallel each and every rep. I called time at 7:19 (3:39) and 11:20 (4:00) after 2nd and 3rd rounds, respectively. Yes, the 3rd round was challenging, and it was the rest between the sets of front squats that slowed me down the most. I even walked away from the bar, bent at the waist, and put my hands on my quads and rested.

I completed the last round of box jumps unbroken. I had decided to complete the last set of burpees in reps of 15 and 5, but managed to complete unbroken. I had also decided to complete the last set of front squats in reps of 6 & 5, but glanced at the clock before starting and noticed that 14 minutes had passed. I thought, “See if you can finish in under 15 minutes. I somehow managed to also complete unbroken. Uhm, I’m not sure where that came from. I called time at 14:51, so my last round was in 3:31.

Even though I didn’t achieve goals, I’m very pleased with the workout. I certainly worked up a rather good sweat!

I just enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving feast with Jeff, my mother, and Brenda and Larry. I may very well fall asleep while composing this.

Yesterday morning my friend Christine invited me to lululemon to try on some clothes and provide feedback. Lexy picked out the ensembles, and I was impressed with the selections. Even though I’ve been forbidden to buy myself anything until after my birthday and Christmas, I nonetheless purchased an awesome hoodie. As there was only one in stock in size small, I couldn’t very well risk someone else buying. Right?

I’m addicted to lululemon. Admitting I have a problem is the first step. Right?

I arrived at CFD this morning at 8. I contemplated doing “Klepto”, but am a bit tired of squat cleans. I instead did yesterday’s CFD metcon, as I wanted to do something fast and furious. Lexy had also mentioned how much she enjoyed the metcon, so I was all in.

5 rounds for time
3 power cleans @ 75% bodyweight
10 ring push-ups
5 box jumps 30″

My goal was to complete all reps unbroken. I looked at the times athletes had posted and set a goal to complete in less than 5 minutes.
As 108# is 75% of bw, I put 110# on the bar.

Uhm, yeah, so this was indeed fast and furious. I completed all reps unbroken and quickly transitioned between activities. Time = 4:19.

I rested 3 minutes and then did 100 pull-ups.

I competed the first 20 unbroken and the last 10 as single reps. Time = 6:13.

Dave asked me to coach today’s 9 & 10am sessions and I jumped at the chance. I kinda, you know, like coaching.

Dave and I exchanged the following texts earlier in the week.
Paul: Any ideas for Thursday WOD?
Dave: I sent it didn’t I? Klepto. It’s gonna be nuts in there.
Paul: Klepto? I put the jump rope back in the box. Promise! Why nuts? U expecting a lot of people?
Dave: Klepto the WOD.
Paul: Ooooh, that makes sense.

Haha! I had borrowed an Rx rope and I thought Dave was under the impression that I hadn’t returned it.

Twenty-seven and eight attended the 9 & 10am sessions, respectively. I had an incredibly fun time coaching! I led the groups though a 15-minute warmup, reviewed the requirements and demonstrated the movements, gave athletes time to determine weight for squat cleans, and then had everyone do 3 reps of box jumps, burpees, and squat cleans. It took athletes about 20 to 25 minutes to complete, and this allowed a 5-minute cool down.

That’s effective time management. Right?

Today’s shout outs go to Einar (strength), Ami (form), Matt (determination), and Jamie (cheerfulness). Oh, and Dave for his salute to the clock.

As he was departing, Daryl asked, “So, does this mean you’ve switched boxes?” “Yes,” I replied. I’m not, however, sure if he was happy, sad, or indifferent to my response. Ha!

Deedee led today’s session, and the focus was on the push press. The warm up consisted of arm swings, running 400m, shoulder pass throughs, kettle bell swings, and pushups. As I knew what was coming up, I should’ve spent time loosening up my wrists.

Strength
Push Press
5 @ 70% of 1RM, 3, 3, 3, 1, 1, 1

Deedee did a nice job of reviewing proper form for the push press, and emphasized the importance of not push jerking. I asked permission to provide one other bit of advice, namely keeping the abs and ass tight. I said, “Imagine that you have a quarter between your butt cheeks. Just before dipping and driving, squeeze the quarter. If need be you can imagine it’s a fifty cent piece.”

I warmed up with the bar and then 75 and 95#. Yes, I recorded all sets. What would you expect? I completed 3 reps @ 100, 110, & 120, and then singles @ 130 & 145#. Upon completing I once again asked Deedee if I could say something to the group. She said, “Of course!” I said, “Body weight, bitches”, and we all had a laugh.

I was then far too aggressive in that I attempted a push press @ 160#, 5# above recently achieved 1RM. Fail. I lowered the weight to 155 and had 2 failed attempts. Once I’ve failed at a push press I have a very difficult time doing even one heavy push press. I’m all up inside my head, yo.

Deedee reviewed the conditioning and instructed us to set up our bars. I asked, “Do we do push presses from the floor or from the rack?” “From the floor,” she replied. I said, “It never hurts to ask.” I knew damn well that we’d clean the bar from the floor, by the way.

Conditioning
Every minute on the minute for 7 minutes
10 push press, 75#
10 ball slams, 30#
1 burpee penalty for each rep not completed

I always enjoy this time of metcon, and today was no exception. As 75# is just a little more than half of my bodyweight, I knew that it was going to be challenging to do 10 unbroken push presses at that weight. Nonetheless, that was a goal. My other goals were to do all ball slams unbroken (not a very lofty goal) and to complete push press and ball slams within 40 seconds, i.e. 2 seconds/rep.

I did complete all rounds unbroken and within 40 seconds. I’m glad I did, as I needed the 20 seconds of rest.

About last night…

Kirk was kind enough to allow me to coach the 5, 6, & 7pm sessions last night. The evening got off to a rather rocky start as only 1 person attended the 5pm session and he was unable to complete the WOD due to illness. As I said to Kirk, “Things can only go uphill from here.” And they did. Five and 3 athletes attended the 6 & 7pm sessions, respectively. Having completed the WOD yesterday, I asked Kirk if I could do a different mobility session. In retrospect I should’ve allowed less time for mobility before the session – as I didn’t allow any time after the session. Dammit. Stretching is always important, particularly after a grueling session. I’m usually much better with planning and time management, Kirk, and rest assured that this won’t happen again. Okay? Okay.

The folks at CFBC have made me feel more than welcome, and I am very appreciative!

I had every intention of joining the Dream Team at 7am, but as I was awake at 4, I attended the 6am session instead. I arrived early and was welcomed by the awesomeness that is Nikki. She’s left-handed. I’m amphibious.

Nikki led us through a warm up that included 3 minutes of jumping rope. As I’m waiting for my replacement rope to arrive (no worries, Josh), I grabbed a rope, checked the length, and began. Fifty double unders right out of the gayte (<– spelling intentional). I rested a moment and then did 40. Huh? Shouldn’t my shoulders be sore? I finished with another 30.

As my shoulders were sore yesterday, 45 HSPUs were programmed. As my lower back was sore today (shitty dead-lift form will do that), we ran and did squat cleans. I just can’t seem to catch a break!

Cash in – run 800m
4 rounds:
6 squat cleans (115/155)
12 chest to bar pull-ups
Cash out – row 30 calories

I know I’m in trouble when 95# feels heavy. I did 5 or so reps at 95, a couple at 115 and then 135#, the weight I decided that I could successfully lift. Boy, was I wrong!

The 800m went well. I wasn’t, however, the first to complete the run, as I’m not going to race someone until the end. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.

I missed my first squat clean attempt. I completed a squat clean. I missed another attempt. I completed a squat clean. I missed yet another attempt. I completed 2 squat cleans. I missed 2 attempts and decided that enough was enough. I stripped the bar of the 45# plates and replaced with 25+10# plates. Thanks for helping, Nikki! Even 115# felt heavy. I only missed 1 attempt during the last round. It wasn’t until then that I remembered to make sure I pushed back my hips. I blame Josh for not being there to remind me to do so. And Michael Kelley for not consistently reminding me to do so. I also blame the pilgrims. Mostly the pilgrims.

I completed chest to bar pull-ups in reps of 6 the first round and as many as 6 and as few as 1 for remaining rounds. More than anything, I didn’t want to have any failed attempts. I’d much rather drop from the bar and rest a moment than waste energy on a failed attempt.

I was the first to the rower, although it wasn’t a level playing field as Eric completed squat cleans Rx. I had rowed about 5 calories when Eric got on the rower beside me. Now it was a race! I had originally planned on rowing a calorie per stroke and keeping strokes per minutes in mid-20s. Eric is a very, very strong rower, so I knew I was going to have to push it if I were to keep him from catching and then passing me.

I finished in 15:30 and Eric finished mere seconds after. Nice work, young man!

As we had plenty of time left in the hour to cool down, I yogaed. (<– spelling intentional).

I was bound and determined to redeem myself, specifically in regard to HSPUs. I set up my iPad and recorded. I completed sets of 12, 9, 10, 8, and 6 reps. Do that math.

HSPUs felt easy today. Damn pilgrims.

I coached at CFD yesterday, and there was quite a crowd at the 11am session, including Chris, Brad, and Natalie from “Jersey Boys”. Sadly, it was the last time they will be able to visit – unless they’re cast in an upcoming show! Oh, Michael Kelley attended the 11am session as well. (There’s your one and only mention, Michael Kelley. Remember, you won’t see me for the next 13 days.)

I rested yesterday, and should’ve perhaps rested today as well. After learning that CFBC was going to do “Diane” today, I contemplated working out at CFZ or CFD. Alas, I have grown to truly enjoy overhead squatting, so I decided to attend the 6am session. Josh coached as Kirk led 9 newbies for the first day of “Foundations”.

Strength
Overhead Squat
5 @ 70% of 1RM, 3, 3, 3, 1, 1, 1

I neglected to look in my book and wrongly thought my OHS 1RM was 115 when in fact it is 110#. Thus, I lifted 80# for the set of 5 reps.

For whatever reason, I have difficulty doing the first rep of a set with full range of motion While my arms are locked out overhead, I don’t achieve the necessary depth. In fact I don’t even come close.

I recorded all sets and often reviewed with Josh. He also observed quite a few sets and provided live coaching, you know, because that’s what he’s paid to do.

I lifted 3 reps @ 85, 90, & 95. Lifts felt relatively solid and, dare I say, light. As I wanted to at least match what I thought was my 1RM, I did singles at 110 and then 115#. I kinda did doubles in that I knew that first rep wouldn’t count, i.e., I gave myself a “no rep”. I felt confident that I could lift 125, but Josh (justifiably) encouraged me to use caution. Josh also noticed that my right leg is stronger than my left leg, and I informed him that it was due to compensating for weak left shoulder.

With 120# on the bar, I removed the bar from the rack, push pressed it (I know I should push jerk but I’ll start doing that when the weight gets heavier), and squatted. I took a step and Josh said, “Stay in your heels”. I squatted again. And then squatted one last time. I said, “That one counted.” Josh replied, “The last one, yes.” I said, “It took me three reps to get my one rep maximum. Isn’t that awesome? So, I’m not counting that as my three rep maximum, I’m counting that as my one rep maximum.” Josh said, “Yeah, the last one was definitely good.” Thanks for the coaching, Josh! I got a 10# 1RM! My goal is bodyweight OHS by the end of this cycle. Doable?

We next set up for “Diane”. I went forth and back about even attempting today, as my shoulders were still very sore from doing “Lynne” and 156 hand release pushups this past Saturday. I then contemplated scaling the handstand pushups, but thought, “I haven’t attempted kipping handstand pushups in a metcon, so this would be a good opportunity to do so.”

We were a little rushed, so I only dead-lifted 135# a few times and didn’t lift 225# even once before we began. I also didn’t attempt a HSPU. I mistakenly set-up 45# plates beside an Abmat instead of 25#; thus, I had a longer distance to push up. Dammit. I also didn’t realize that there was a 10-minute time cap. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

“Diane”
21-15-9
Dead-lifts, 225#
Handstand pushups

I’ve completed this benchmark WOD a couple of times. I distinctly remember the first time I attempted dead-lifts @ 225, as I dropped the bar after each and every rep.

On the plus side, dead-lifts went reasonably well. I completed 6, 5, 5, & 5 the first round, 3 sets of 5 reps the second round, and 3, 3, 2, & 1 the last round.

Handstand pushups started our very well! I completed 11 kipping. Uhm, and then I fell apart. I was doing singles by the end of the second round. My shoulders were aching.

I only managed to string together 2 unbroken the second round, and then did the remaining 13 reps as singles. “Do you want another mat?” Josh asked. I replied, “No, as I’m already this far along.” I wasn’t paying attention to the time and I still hadn’t realized that there was a 10-minute time cap. I did, however, know that I was the only person still doing the workout.

During my last round of dead-lifts Josh said, “You have about a minute and a half left, Paul.” Uh-oh.

I was only able to complete 3 HSPUs before time ran out. However, I did attempt one last HSPU with about 10 seconds remaining, but I could not lock it out at the top and I fell to the floor. With 5 seconds still remaining I said, “I’m done.” I was a sweaty, blathering mess.

In retrospect, however, I’m actually quite pleased in what I accomplished. Granted, I didn’t complete all of the reps, but I certainly know that I need to work on kipping HSPUs!

I’m coaching the 5, 6, and 7pm sessions tomorrow night at CFBC, and I’ll be coaching the 9 and 10am sessions at CFD Thanksgiving day. Will I see you there? (Not you, Michael Kelley.)