First, the disappointing news: CrossFit Surmount will not be opening March 1 as planned. As with much in life, unexpected things happen. I tend to not get too upset, as it does little good to do so. Suffice it to say that I had a very lengthy talk with my landlord, and we are in a better, happier place.

Should I paint a foot-wide orange line at the 10’ mark for wall ball shots?

I worked out at noon at CFS, and had a wonderful time doing so. I’m making it a point to spend a minimum of 15 minutes on mobility, as it’s easy to not do so when you’re working out alone. Accountability, people. Just saying.

Strength
Overhead Squats
5-5-3-3-2

I do enjoy overhead squatting in spite of the pain to the wrists. I warmed up and then did 5 reps @ 85 & 95#, 3 reps @ 105 & 115#, and 2 reps @ 120#. I recorded all sets, reviewed immediately, and admired my incredible form and very shapely ass. (Happy now, Joe? Stop by CFS to purchase your tee shirt. K? K.)

The one thing I noticed is that I grimace when I OHS. More specifically, I purse my lower lip.

Conditioning
14-minute AMRAP
10 KB swings, 52#
8 strict knees to elbows
6 GHD sit-ups
4 power snatches, 65#
2, 10m walking lunges, 25# DB in each hand

I sure do enjoy programming my own metcons. I am attempting to work on weaknesses. For example, even though I did power snatches yesterday, I nonetheless included today, albeit far fewer reps. I dislike walking lunges, particularly when holding dumbbells. I’m not the biggest fan of KB swings. I’ve become too accustomed to kipping the hell out of everything; thus the strict knees to elbows.

My goal, of course, was to do all rounds unbroken. Done. Dee. Oh. En. Ee.

The hardest part, as expected, was walking lunges. I made sure that I took long lunges, with front knee over ankle and back knee touching floor. I counted the number of reps the first 10m and ensured that I did the same number, 12 (if you must know) each and every 10m walk. Torture, I tell you.

I completed 5 rounds + 10 KB swings & 8 toes to bar.

As Jeff wanted to work out this evening, I programmed a WOD for him. He invited three of our friends to join us, Robin, Chris, and Cheri. The four of them worked on establishing a 1RM for high bar back squats. The conditioning was 12-minute AMRAP of 5 dead-lifts, 25 lateral bar hops, and 10 burpees/knees to elbow, alternating rounds between burpees and KTE.

Jeff said it was quite a difficult metcon. I like that.

Another solo workout in 2K sq. ft. workspace. I’m anxiously awaiting opening CrossFit Surmount and am hoping that I will indeed be able to do so this Friday. If inspections aren’t completed by Thursday afternoon, I’ll nonetheless be her during regular business hours – hopefully welcoming new members!

Yup, the glass is always more than half full.

Strength/Skill
Squat Cleans
3-3-3-3-3

I rowed 500m and worked on mobility for warm up, and then did 5 or so reps @ 65 & 75#. I then completed sets @ 95, 100, 105, 115, & 125#. I can finally clean without experiencing excruciating pain in my left elbow and shoulder. I recorded all sets, reviewed immediately, and made course corrections along the way. Again, Coach’s Eye is an incredible tool.

I focused on form and consistency. As well I should. I am fully extending hips, but still tend to pull a little too quickly when the weight gets heavy. I’m certainly squatting well below parallel.

Conditioning
7 rounds for time
7 power snatches, 65#
7 chest to bar pull-ups
7 parallette pushups, feet on bench
70m farmer’s carry, 52# KB in each hand (7, 10m shuttle runs)

My only goal was to complete within 21 minutes. I surprised myself with this one… I completed all rounds of pull-ups and pushups unbroken. Okay, no surprise there. I also completed all rounds of power snatches unbroken and, dare I say, 65# felt relatively light. Huh? Surprising. Perhaps I should first explain what I mean by unbroken. For the first 3 rounds, my hands remained on the bar. For the last 4 rounds, I dropped the bar after ensuring the arms and hips were fully extended and then quickly reset before doing another snatch. This was far less taxing on my arms, and I needed all of the arm strength that I could muster. Why?

Because the shuttle sprints were very, very challenging. I managed to complete the first 4 rounds unbroken, but couldn’t hold onto the KB handle for all 70m of the remaining rounds. I put the KB down after 500m the 5th round, 400m the 6th round, and after 300 and 600m the last round. I just couldn’t keep my grip, regardless of how much I had chalked my hands.

Time = 20:32. I had all of 28 seconds to spare.

I know quite a few people who do not enjoy working out alone. One person in particular comes to mind. Can you think whom I’m referring to? I’ll give you a hint: he’s fat.

I, on the other hand, quite enjoy working out all by myself. I can go at my own pace and rest as long or as little as necessary, I can play the music (selections from “Glee”) as loudly as I like, and I don’t have to worry about stumbling over others during the metcon.

I also like having 2K sq. ft. to myself.

I painted the bathrooms and the inner hallway this morning. I’m kinda sorta sick of painting, but I still have the doors and trim to paint.

Strength
Dead-lift
3-3-3-3-3
Sets began @ 60% and increased in 5% increments to 80%; thus I dead-lifted 3 reps @ 215, 235, 250, 270, & 290#. I did not drop the last rep. Just so you know. Lifts felt very good today, although 290# began to feel a wee bit heavy.

Conditioning
6-min AMRAP
Dead-lift, 185#
6-count burpee
6 lateral jumps over barbell
Rest 2 minutes
6-min AMRAP
6-count burpee muscle-up
6 jumps over bench
Rest 2 minutes
6-min AMRAP
6-count burpee with 45# plate press
6 lateral jumps over barbell

I call this one The Sixes. Uhm, you might say that I programmed to my strengths, but that’d only be partially true. I do love burpees, and 6- even more so than 3-count burpees. I haven’t done muscle-ups in as long as I can remember. I very much dislike plate presses. I enjoy lateral jumps over the barbell, but this is the first time I’ve included jumps over the bench in a workout. While challenging, I did enjoy.

I had originally planned on a 3-minute rest, but that seemed excessive. My goal, of course, was to do all reps unbroken. I missed 1 muscle-up and my foot touched the bench during 1 jump. Dammit. I completed:

18 rounds + 1 dl
10 rounds even
18 rounds + 1 burpee

That’s a total of 19 dead-lifts, 10 muscle-ups, 18 plate presses, & 47 burpees. Good times!

We might have to do this one when CFS opens. Yup, still hoping for Friday!

Two consecutive days of rest? Why, yes, if by rest you mean cleaning, painting, drilling holes through metal, and helping install a pull-up rig.

CrossFit Surmount is nearing completion. The landlord has to install additional and raise existing lighting, install water fountains (and shower shortly after opening), address a few minor issues, e.g., small leak in roof, etc. I am so excited that I could hardly sleep last night. That hasn’t happened since adolescence, specifically the night before the first day of school. (Yes, I loved attending school. Yes, I was the teacher’s pet.)

A heartfelt thanks to Larry, Cheri, Mark, Angie, and Jeff for the many hours they spent helping install the pull-up rig this past Saturday. Ladies and gentlemen, that pull-up rig is sturdy.

I coached my very last Sunday sessions at CFD. It was quite a bittersweet morning.

You always remember your first, and CFD was indeed my first CrossFit, my first coaching experience, and my first endurance coaching experience. I made many friends during the past 3 years while working out and coaching at CFD, among them most notably Dave Rubin, owner and proprietor of CFD. As I’ve repeatedly mentioned, Dave has been extremely helpful and has provided much useful guidance and support in my CFS endeavor. Dave, I cannot thank you enough. I look forward to our continued successful professional – and personal – relationship. You. Are. Awesome.

As usual, many athletes attended both sessions, among them Amy Scott (Amy Scott!), Rona, Einar, Rosa, Henry, Kate, Chad, Michelle, and Craig. (Don’t feel bad if you weren’t mentioned. I have a horrible memory.) The strength was the jerk and the conditioning was “Helen”, one of my favorite benchmark WODs. Hell, I enjoy any WOD that includes running.

I stopped by briefly at home to pick up Luke, and then spent the rest of the afternoon at CFS. I was finally able to paint the last section of wall in the large workout area. As I was doing so, who should appear but Michael Kelley at Britt? I was happy to see Britt. Michael Kelley immediately began attempting bar muscle-ups on the Speal bar. I said, “Are you here to play or here to help?” “Help,” he said. So I asked him to recycle the cardboard boxes and dispose of the garbage. And he did. I hate him less so for doing so. He also helped place the last of the floor mats. If I had known it was so much easier to do as a 2-person job, I wouldn’t have placed a single mat. Thank you, Michael Kelley. You may workout at CFS whenever you like by invitation only with a $15 drop-in fee.

Jeff asked me to program a metcon, and I was delighted to do so.

3 rounds for time
20 box jumps, 24”
15 toes to bar
10 ring dips
50/30 double unders (P/J)

I had originally programmed 30 reps of each activity, but Jeff (understandably so) talked me out of it. We were both already quite exhausted by the time we started the WOD at 5:30.

My goal was to complete all rounds unbroken. I did not achieve this goal.

I did complete box jumps and ring dips unbroken, as well as the first round of toes to bar. (Toes to bar were done as an homage to Michael Kelley, as he programs T2B far too frequently. Ring dips were done because Michael Kelley seldom programs rings dips because he’s fat.) I was well on my way to completing the first round of dus unbroken, but my rope hit the pull-up rig on the 38th rep. I know, I know; Jeff and I were the only two in the box, but I haven’t yet developed my sense of spatial awareness. I completed the second rounds in reps of 37 and 13, and the last round unbroken. Yes, unbroken! My time was 9 minutes.

I coached the 6am and attended the 7am session at CFBC. Anna, Jill, Tom, Mike, and Daryl attended the 6am session, and all kicked ass. To prepare for the upcoming CrossFit Open, Kirk has been scheduling previous open WODs. Due to an injury, I was unable to complete this particular WOD last year, although I certainly remember it!

Before I talk about my own performance, let me say what a pleasure it is coaching CFBCers. Today was no exception. I most enjoyed “encouraging” the rivalry between Anna and Jill, who started out neck and neck. It was Jill’s awesomeness at toes to bar that led to her eventual victory. Congratulations, Jill! Daryl, Tom, and Mike all did presses Rx.

I did not. I had no intention of even attempting. I’ve done enough damn shoulder to overhead in the past week that I wasn’t the least bit interested in doing so today.

18-minute AMRAP
15 box jumps, 24” 30”
12 push presses
9 toes to bar

Josh led the 7am session, and I had the pleasure of working out with Alexis! And Joe. As I didn’t do push presses (presses, push jerk, and split jerks were also allowed) Rx, I increased the height of the box jumps. This may not have been a very good decision.
My one and only goal was to not break push presses into more than 2 sets. That’s it. No goal for unbroken box jumps or toes to bar.

When I coach at 6 and then work out at 7, I become exceedingly hungry when 7 o’clock rolls round as that’s the time when I usually break my nightly fast. I was excruciatingly hungry this morning, and my stomach growled throughout the 18 minutes.

I completed the first round of push presses unbroken, and the remaining rounds in reps of 6 & 6 or 7 & 5. Oh, wait, the last round I completed in 8 & 4.

I missed a box jump and scraped my left shin. Earlier in the morning I had said to the 6amers, “Get over your fear of missing a jump and scraping your shins. It’ll happen.” And damn it, it did. To me.

I didn’t fully open my hips on the first toes to bar and didn’t count that rep. Again, it wouldn’t have mattered if Josh had or hadn’t been looking at my ass performance, I wouldn’t have counted the rep. I did quite a few rounds of toes to bar unbroken, but by the last round was only stringing together 2 or 3 at a time a the most.

I completed 6 rounds + 13 box jumps. Alexis crushed me. Joe crushed us both. I still like Alexis much more than I like Joe. You should, too.

Alexis wore matching clothing today! Will wonders never cease?

I showered, and as I was dressing my women’s intuition said, “Jules needs a hug.” So I hugged her. Alexis liked the way I smelled and asked for a hug. So I hugged her, too. Nadia got very, very jealous and also requested a hug, so I hugged her as well. aI hugged three beautiful women in less than a minute. And that’s not even a PR!

I said to Josh, “Kirk, are you going to take pictures of this session, too?” Josh replied, “My name’s not Kirk, it’s Josh. Do I look like a short blonde?” To which I replied, “You do when I imagine us together.”

What an exhausting day! I’ll begin with a CrossFit Surmount Update:

1. Painted lounge and storage room. Lobby, hallways, and 7/8 of work space already painted.
2. Placed down more flooring and cut many odd-shaped pieces. That’s exhausting! My hands hurt.
3. Moved most equipment onto mats (but out of the way of where the pull-up rig will be installed).
4. Purchased stud finder and discovered that studs are indeed placed about every 2’ apart (and not 4’ like one of the workers informed me). This will make installation of pull-up rig much easier.
5. Perhaps most importantly, received (finally) architect plans for space, as the Town of Apex needs these as the space is changing use.

 I attended the 6am session, led by Nikki. I’m happy that it wasn’t too trying of a day.

Strength
Bench Press
5 x 5 @ 80% of 1RM

I usually like to work out on my own. As there was an out-of-town visitor, Lisa, new to the bench press and in need of a partner, I volunteered to partner with her. That’s just how nice of a guy I am. Don’t believe me? Ask Lisa.

Congratulations on achieving new 1RM for bench press, Lisa!

While I’ve bench pressed 180 one whole time, 175 genuinely seems like a more accurate 1RM. I completed 5 sets @ 140.

As aside, if you please. I have somewhat of an obsessive-compulsive personality. I have been so involved with preparing CFS for opening that hours will go by before I realize that I haven’t eaten. I’ve probably decreased my calorie intake by a quarter or a half. Uhm, I’m lost weight, and I’m down to a whopping 140 lb. Once things get settled, I promise I’ll gain back the 3 pounds. Promise.

Back to the lifts. Yes, the 5th rep of each set felt heavy, but I never failed a press.

Have I mentioned that I don’t have an “off” button when it comes to coaching? Read on.

• Max rep ring dips
• 10 Ball Slams (30/20#)
• Max rep pull ups
• 10 Ball Slams
• Max rep handstand push ups parallette pass throughs
• 10 Ball Slams

This was not done for time.

I banged my head while painting. Yes, while paining. I won’t provide details. Anywho, I didn’t want to do HSPUs for fear of, well, breaking open the scab on mah head; thus, pass throughs.

I completed 17 strict ring dips. Ball slams are always a rollicking good time, at least for a while. I did a mere 16 kipping pull-ups. Huh? Just 16? I was still enjoying slam balls. I completed 11 pass throughs. Ball slams were starting to be less than enjoyable. We had time, so we all did 2 rounds.

I completed 11 strict rings dips. Damn ball slams. I was bound and determined to complete 20 pull-ups, and that I did. Damn ball slams were beginning to take a toll on my cardiovascular system. I finished with 11 pass throughs. And 10 more ball slams. I was done. D. O. N. E.

Yeah, so about that “off” button. I requested that both Daryl and Tom uncross their ankles when doing ring dips. It’s a safety concern, as if one were to fall off the rings one might break an ankle. Tom was slamming the ball, but not squatting to catch it. I whispered to Nikki, “Tom’s gonna hurt his back if he doesn’t squat to catch the ball.” I think I saw Nikki correcting his form. Hey, she can’t see everything! Sorry if I was overly intrusion, Nikki. I’ll be out of your hair soon. Will you miss me? I’ll miss you. I don’t have much hair.

I finished Ken Burns’ “The War” and began Ken Burn’s “National Parks”. It wasn’t until last night, when I went to my Lululemon gym bag to retrieve my iPad, that I realized that I left my iPad at CFD. Gah! I quickly posted a message to CFD Coaches page on Facebook, and Alison let me know that I had indeed left it on a box at, well, the box. I considered working out at CFBC and then driving to CFD, but then thought, “Why not kill two birds with one stone.” The strength at CFBC was also back squats and the metcon looked just as grueling.

Uhm, things have changed since I was a regular 6amer in that it was so very, very, very quiet. I was the first to arrive, and I made sure to greet everyone. I felt almost guilty for being energetic, so I reined in my enthusiasm. I used the quiet time to stretch and work on mobility, and I’m glad that I did, as the session didn’t include mobility.

Rachel led today’s session. We warmed up with 2 rounds of 500m row, 15 air squats, and 10 pushups.

Strength
Back Squat
1-1-1-1-1

I will admit that I didn’t thoroughly review the instructions, namely to do singles at 70%, 75%, 80%, 85%, and 90%. I warmed up and did reps at 135, 165, 185, & 205 and failed at 215#. I honestly didn’t much care for attempting a second time, as 205 is 87% of 1RM.

I honestly tried to mind my own damn business, but I couldn’t help noticing that Brian, who was working out to my right, wasn’t squatting below parallel. I recorded one of his back squats to show him, and he agreed with my assessment.

Conditioning
7 rounds for time
7 push jerks (155/105)
7 chest to bar pull-ups
7 burpees

Okay, so I did split jerks just yesterday, so there was no way in hell that I was going to do 49 even remotely heavy lifts. I instead focused on making this a fast metcon, and I set my goal to do all rounds unbroken. I settled on 95#. In retrospect I coulda shoulda push jerked 105 or even 115. Better safe than sorry!

Even push jerking just 95# was nonetheless a challenge. I did complete all rounds of push jerks unbroken, and mixed things up as well. For example, for the first round I intentionally did not receive the bar and instead slowly lowered it to my shoulders. I received the bar for remaining rounds. For the third round I focused on using the dip when receiving as the first dip of the push jerk. This became quite exhausting – so it’s the last time I did that! I split jerked for the last round. And it was good.

I did the first 5 rounds of chest to bar pull-ups unbroken. For the sixth set I paused at the bottom of the bar before the last rep, and for the last set I paused at the bottom of the bar for the last 2 reps. The most challenging part of the chest to bar pull-ups was jumping to the bar, as I mistakenly chose one of the highest pull-up bars.

I love burpees. Even though I did burpee box jumps yesterday, I still enjoyed each and every of today’s burpees.

I jokingly said, “I’m not enjoying this” after the second round, and I said, “I’m still not enjoying this” a few more times. Just trying to keep things light, folks!

I completed the metcon in 11:20.

I spent 11 hours at CFS painting, and the lobby, hallway, and 3/4 of the workout room. That’s about 2K square feet, folks! I also spoke with the architect, and I’ll have the plans tomorrow to give to the Town of Apex. The architect assured me that there would still be more than enough time to open as scheduled on March 1. That’s just a week from Friday! I’ll be finishing the painting tomorrow, and will begin and possibly finish putting down the flooring as well. The landlord has to install additional lighting and do a few minor repairs. I’m so very, very excited!

I worked out at CFD before coaching the 10 and 11am sessions. I’m going to miss the CFDers, and I hope they will all visit me at CFS.

I warmed up with shoulder and wrists stretches, walking down-dog, and mountain climbers and grasshoppers; the same warm up I later led.

Strength/Skill
Split jerk
5-5-5-5-5-5-5

Today was all about form. I started light, added a mere 5# each set, and (of course) recorded all sets. I changed the camera angle to view from left, right, front, and back. I lifted sets @70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95, & 100#. I no longer step back with my left foot on the dip. Good. I take my time with the dip. Good. I land with back, left ankle and front, right ankle turned out. Good. I drop deeply under the bar. Good. I need to continue to lunge longer with my front, right leg, as my knee is slightly in front of my ankle. Dammit, I’m not perfect after all. Yet.

Conditioning
7-min AMRAP
6-count burpee box jumps, 32”

This was a tremendous amount of fun! Burpees were as strict as they could possibly be, i.e., I paused for a moment at each count. One: jump from top of box and squat and place hands on floor. Two: kick feet back and land in plank with tight and amazingly sculpted abs and ass. Three: drop chesticles and cheek to floor. Four: pushup to plank and again marvel at amazing tight abs and ass. Five: Jump feet to hands. Six: jump and land on box.

I had a stack of 5 poker chips, and I would move one poker chip when I completed 5 reps. I did, however, have to shout the number out loud to keep track.

I completed 44 reps. The added 2”, as I usually jump 30”, added just that little bit of extra challenge that I needed.

Many of the 10amers had arrived as I was putting away my equipment. I said, “I’ll go around the corner to change into my CrossFit Surmount shirt, as I don’t want any of the men to feel inferior.” I’m just that nice.

Today’s skill at CFD was practicing double unders. I made sure to play my “Jump” playlist, and Chad (Holla!) enjoyed the songs – and dancing – more than anyone else. No surprise there.

I can’t recall the last time I spent that much time just focusing on double unders. I truly enjoyed doing so, and I hope all of your who attended enjoyed as well.

The conditioning was an AFAP of 30 reps of GHD sit-ups, ring dips, toes to bar, double unders, and OHS. If I hadn’t done a chipper yesterday, I most certainly would’ve completed this metcon. I challenged athletes to do as many of the activities unbroken as they possibly could, and that the metcon should be fast, fast, fast. Many, but not all, listened to my guidance. What I liked so much about this metcon (and Jeff agrees) is that it showed strengths and weaknesses. For example, most athletes are unable to string together toes to bar. (A quick shout out to Henry who was able to do so during the metcon with a little bit of coaching that I provided as he was briefly resting.) The next most difficult activity for athletes was ring dips. I had to constantly remind people to use full range of motion. Delts below elbows.

A couple of athletes scaled up for OHS, including Brock and Chad. Many scaled down, and were smart to do so.

Einar, I had to call no rep on your 29th OHS. Make sure you break parallel, with crease of shorts below knees. Henry, I applaud you for completing the metcon Rx. I want to have a conversation with you about whether this was the wisest choice. (Hint: it wasn’t.) You should really friend me on Facebook. Rosa’s my friend.

We came home, got Luke, and went to CFS to meet our friends Paul and Heather, as Paul made parallettes and a plate rack for me. Thanks, Paul; very nice craftsmanship. I still like Heather much more than I like you. Much, much more. Michael Kelley also visited because he’s nosy and a somewhat good friend who’s not at all fat and wanted to help. We had been there just a moment when Steve, who I knew was coming to pick up a tee shirt, and 3 other folks arrived to see the space! Location, location, location. I spackled the walls in preparation for painting.

Yes, you’re welcome to stop by tomorrow and help paint.

“Don’t you usually work out at Zeal on Saturdays?” asked Kirk. “No,” I resoundingly replied.

For the very first time ever, I attended the 9am session at CFBC. Many of my friends were in attendance, and I shall rank them now. Number 1: Jules. Number 2: Cassie, Alexis, Nikki, Lynn, Jill, Kirsten, Kirk, Greg, and Jason (tied). Number 3: Everyone else except Josh (tied). Number 4: Josh, as he didn’t “stretch” me.

Kirk led us through a brief warm up, reviewed standards for movements, and “suggested” that we completed 10 reps of each of the activities. I admit to not doing so.

For Time:

• 20 Pull-Ups
• 30 Hand Release Push-Ups
• 40 GHD Sit-Ups
• 50 Jumping Air Squats

Rest 3 Minutes

• 50 Double Unders
• 40 Kettelbell Swings (53, 35#)
• 30 Sandbag Shuttles (1=10 meters carrying 50, 25#)
• 20 Burpee Ball Tosses (30, 20#)

For the Burpee Ball Toss, perform one burpee, one slamball/med ball clean, and then throw the ball over a designated pull-up bar without hitting the bar. (Yes, motivational consequences will be assessed for hitting the bar).

Kirk demonstrated the burpee ball tosses and explained the penalty: 10 walking lunges holding med ball overhead. Ouch. Kirk admitted that he missed 2 of the tosses. Ouch.

I did a few pull-ups, GHD sit-ups, and KB swings, and then attempted the burpee ball tosses.

If I had known that this was today’s WOD, I wouldn’t have done yesterday’s WOD that included med ball cleans and double unders. Just saying.

I attempted a few burpess ball tosses. I took me 4 attempts before I managed to throw the ball over the pull-up rig without hitting the bar. I feared that this was going to be a big (as in the size of Michael Kelley’s ass) mess.

Kirk said, “This is a bodyweight exercise, so you should be able to do all activities unbroken.” This, however, was not my strategy.

I said to Kirk, “I’d like to do hand release pushups, GHD sit-ups, and jumping air squats, if that’s okay with you.” He replied, “Do whatever you want, Paul.” I considered dancing or breaking out in song. Show tunes, specifically.

Kirk wisely staggered the start, and I began 2 minutes after the clock began.

Twenty unbroken pull-ups presented no problem. I was not, however, the first to complete the 20 reps (I’m talking to you, new Facebook friend, Greg). My immediate thought was, “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. I shall crush you and all your minions. Or is that the singular ‘minion’?”

Thirty unbroken hand release pushups also presented no problem, even after 100 pushups with toes on med ball less than a day earlier.

I knew damn well that I wasn’t going to do 40 unbroken GHD sit-ups. I completed in reps of 20, 10, 5, & (you guessed it) 5. I also knew damn well that I wasn’t going to do 50 unbroken jumping air squats. I completed in reps of 30 & 20. The clock read 6:27. I thought, “That took me far longer than it should have. Six minutes and 27 seconds? I was really that slow?” I had forgotten that I had started 2 minutes after the clock began. Oops.

I rested 3 very long minutes. I was anxious to begin.

I began double unders when the clock read 9:27. I did 3 and missed the 4th, so I started over. I completed in reps of 41 & (you guessed it) 9. I’m so very happy that my ability to do double unders has returned! I feel like a boy at a toy store. Or Michael Kelley at a Coldstone Creamery.

I began to obsess over the upcoming 20 burpee ball tosses, and kept thinking, “Leave something in the tank.” I completed in 4 sets of 10 reps, and, in retrospect, I’m very happy that I did.

Just as I was to begin shuttle runs Kirk realized that I didn’t have a 50# bag to carry. He quickly grabbed one from the shelf and handed it to me. Of all of the activities, I enjoyed the shuttles runs the most. (Sorry about the elbow, Cassie!) However, I didn’t run as fast as I would normally have, as I still wanted to make sure I had enough energy for burpee ball tosses.

I found a 30# slam ball and a space at the pull-up rig directly facing my nemesis. Remember her? I completed a burpee, positioned the slam ball, did a slam ball clean, and easily tossed the ball over the pull-up rig. It almost hit Alexis. Damn it. My aim isn’t nearly as good as it used to be. I gotta start shooting squirrels again.

I’ll cut to the chase: I successfully completed all 20 burpee ball tosses. Yeah! I looked at the clock and it read 20:13. “Not bad,” I thought. “Not good, but not bad.” Pirate Greg asked, “How do we determine time?” I misunderstood his question and said, “Record total time. As everyone rested 3 minutes, there’s no need to subtract that time.” He rambled on and on (and on and on) and he eventually said, “But we started 2 minutes after everyone else. Shouldn’t we subtract that time?” It was then that I finally realized that my time was indeed 18:13 and not 20:13. Much better, yes? Yes.

I occasionally like trash talking, and today was just one of those occasions. Nikki and Alexis, who had started 2 minutes before I had, were seated nearby when I finished. I said, “I crushed you.” “Yes, but we used the men’s weight for kettle bells, 44 pounds,” said Nikki. I corrected her and said, “The men’s weight was 52 pounds.” Nikki replied, “I meant the men’s master’s weight.” My nemesis said, “You used the women’s bar for the pull-ups.” She was referring to the lower of the bars, you know, because I’m short. I said, “That’s the men with big penises bar. The taller bar is for the men with small penises.”

Score: Paul, 3 and Nikki & Alexis, 0.